Doh! Just remembered my lost thought ...

You mention that H may see your new-and-improved attitude and suspect something or be mad ...

Yeah. That's a good point. Except you're going to be being friendly/a-little-more-than-neighborly to him (for now). That's where those random, sporadic, every-once-in-a-while, no-expectations-attached texts come in.

He's obviously going to question your motives at first. That's ok. This really isn't supposed to be about him. And THAT is where your CONSISTENCY comes into play. You can't drop this "new T" if H comes back around. (You've now learned this the hard way.) Find what's genuine and authentic to you ... the T you need to be for YOU, whether you're M to him or not. You are the cake. He is the frosting.

Also consider: We're not wired like men. We analyze and over-think and over-talk and over-worry. He's driven a lot by desire and impulse and competition. And his penis. So if you walk out of a bathroom with a new 'do and with - whoops - new lingerie ... and smelling like a million dollars ... and smiling and happy and FUN ... I seriously doubt he's going to spend much time trying to figure out your motives.

I'm no man - maybe another could weigh in here on that. But that's just my .02.

But here's the thing: please try to remember this is all for YOU ... to boost YOUR PMA. To make YOU feel better about YOU. Watch pouty-H take one glimpse at you and then rumble-grumble at you going out. That one glimpse is where it's at. That's YOUR money-shot. Forget the rumble-grumble. And go ye forth and be bada$s. And have a GREAT time with your girls!

M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014