Originally Posted By: T0324
25 I haven't really had a problem with R with his boss's. I try not to get involved in his work too much. We were very close with ex boss and his wife. Double dates, family vacations, they were in our wedding, etc. He and H were friends long before H started working for them (they met through work being in the same business).

Ahhh, I'm Sorry T0, I'm confused a bit with which boss is which, versus the "X" and the "old boss".

Let me see if I have this straight. The "ex boss" you are referring to, is the one with the OW daughter, right? Okay..and THEY were friends of yours (or your h) before he worked for/with them, correct?

But before that, before the move to where you are now, your h worked elsewhere and there, he made a chunk more money, correct?

So was the new job (i.e. the job with now ex boss, in your present area and for which your h moved)

a job in a start up or in some way, going to lead to more money, later?? And then it didn't?

And NOW, he's in a new job (3rd one I know of)

but you lent the new boss, some money and they have not paid YOU back. Is that accurate? Dang girl, I can't say I've ever lent my h's boss money. That would make me worry they are having too many $$ problems to pay my h.

Have any of the things you assumed would be taken care of with your loan, happened? Did they waste the money or do you know? Is that even an issue?

But maybe I've misunderstood.

My R with them turned sour when BD came. After learning the things their daughter was saying to my H and learning that ex boss W (OW stepmom) knew the whole time and lied to me about knowing anything (her and I talked, went to lunch etc after BD... She swore she knew nothing).

I'm sure it did turn sour. FTR, that stepmother must be mortified. Then again, it's times like that when I learn there are folks who are NEVER "mortified"

(b/c that would require a moral self awareness they lack.) But I could understand the step mom being embarrassed. Doesn't excuse lying, but it sort of explains it. It does not equate with supporting their A.

I just don't think you know enough to determine that, and at this point it's not relevant, is it?

So that's where that problem started.

Meaning, where the problem with your r's with them, right?

I also personally believe in don't mix business with pleasure. H seems to do that too much with these last 2 jobs and it doesn't end well. Current boss and his wife are also friends of ours since H and I met. They are having SEVERE money problems which is probably why she lashed out on me. H believes they spent all the money they owe and don't have it but won't admit to that.

good insights^^. Doesn't solve the problem, but it might explain it. Gives you somewhere to start.

I just want the issue resolved. It's been going on since September and at this point I really need the money. Now with them shorting him 2 weeks of pay I really feel like we are getting into a hole with them and their lack of funds. I really am fine with them even giving me 100/month or whatever they can afford I just want something on paper that covers me.

Extremely reasonable. (Of course, next time you loan someone money, you will put it in writing- so I won't even go there.. cool )

But what about you now writing them a letter suggesting such a repayment plan?

(I'd put an amount that is higher than $100 per month, just so it gets paid off in your lifetime.)

Maybe give them a few options with that amount (i.e. $100 monthly) as the lowest available.

By making them feel responsible for repaying you, you validate (in writing) the debt, and hopefully start that repayment process. Then if they flake out, you'll have something in writing.

(Note - the check you gave them, is a record of sorts. That's not invalid just b/c it doesn't spell out that it's a loan, as long as it doesn't say "gift" on it.)

Anyhow, you have options when it comes to that debt.

and now, back to your h...


Last edited by 25yearsmlc; 01/14/15 06:28 PM.

M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
I File D 10/16
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

Embrace the Change