Forgive me for weighing in for the first time at this moment. I have read your threads regularly and you always get lots of excellent advice. I tend to blunder into situations with some practical advice.
When I read over your situation, it just seems to me that the financial pressure that your H is feeling is its own kind of all consuming fog that prevents him from working on anything else in his life.
I know from your previous posts that he blew through 20,000 during his crisis last year. I guess I'm not clear if the two of you together have cash flow problems or if he is just struggling with a lot of personal debt. I also can't quite figure out what you H does for a living although I'm sure its somewhere in your threads.
Make no mistake, $20,000 is a significant amount of money. But it always strike me when I read your posts that its not an insurmountable amount of debt. Does your H have anyone else, besides you, who can advise him on this matter? I know you are a nurse, does your employer give you access to a credit union? Are you an H members? If so, someone there may be able to look at his situation and offer advice. That type of institution might be able to get him a non-predatory consolidation loan or something similar. Not sure what his credit situation is.
I guess my overall point is that your husband sounds like he is drowning in the finances and unfortunately right now - you can't be the one to throw the life preserver - but he does need help. If he ends up at MC with you tonight - maybe the C can point him in that direction.
Good Luck T0 - I'm rooting for you and for your family!