Originally Posted By: vossy
Hi T0.. sorry to jump in now, but I have been reading all your recent posts over the last few weeks.

I get the impression your H is suddenly having a lot of feelings catch up to him.. guilt, stress, etc. Whether you let him come back "easily" or not is irrelevant, he came back and things were good because he was back, and now that's worn off he has to start dealing with the consequences: shame, guilt, money, etc.

FWIW I think you're doing great, and the fact that you're not reacting how he expects you too is HUGE.


As for his employer, why aren't they paying? What's that about? Is there no

I wondered the same thing. It's weird sounding and whatever is in writing, should prevail.

Also, no offense, but why are YOU handling this matter at all, and not him?

I realize you ran it by him first. I do. And that matters.

But there are so many aspects to that which could negate your own personal work, I wonder how your h really feels about it, and or, if he even knows.

It's pretty unusual for a wife to call a boss's wife or the boss himself, to get her husband's pay. I know I'd greatly hesitate.

( I've been where you are in the sense that h's "heroes" in Alaska promised him $$$$$ to get him there. Then his pay went down and stayed down the 2nd year. What?? After all the rigamarole to get him/us there, to lure him to take the "worlds best job", h was just embarrassed. Probably humiliated. I can understand why. Very frustrating, I know.)

SOME risks of involving yourself in it, include him feeling slighted or emasculated. Or that you are again disappointed in him, financially.

Though it obviously can't help YOUR relationships with his boss/boss's family, but what about his?

And btw, this is the new "good/better" boss, right? (So that makes 2 bosses of his in a row, with whom you will have poor r's, correct?)

T0, you said bringing up money around OR about your h, isn't something you do anymore. You said you stopped doing that b/c it really bothered him...but really, isn't this the same type of thing?

Just asking.

Last edited by 25yearsmlc; 01/14/15 04:56 PM.

M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
I File D 10/16
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

Embrace the Change