Clearly I agree with everything sandi said. This part really sticks out, and I believe it wholeheartedly:
This doesn't sound like marriage-saving advice, but really it is. In my WAW opinion, that is the only thing that may possibly yank his a$$ hard enough to reach his brain.
It might not work. But it's got a much bigger chance of working than pursuing him. He needs to see that you mean business. I know it feels counter-intuitive, but it's really the perfect advice ... and the ONLY thing that might work to wake him up sooner rather than later. A woman with self-respect, confidence and conviction is ATTRACTIVE. Hard to resist.
A desperate woman is not attractive and very easy to resist.
It's elementary, my dear.
I also know you're hurting, mama. But you know strength takes time. And it'll come faster with a little effort.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014