((TO)), I try to imagine how you must feel. I care very much about what is happening to you. I hear the fear, and sometimes you sound like you did the first time he pulled this stunt. Don't be that scared girl again. You climbed out of this mess before. You proved you could make it without him. Even your feelings had began to fade right before he showed up begging.
I am just going to come out and say it.......he is not interested in going to counseling. And you are desparately clinging to that one hope (MC), and if you contact him wanting him to attend, he will see your desperation. Sweetheart, please do nothing to persue him. It will not work. Bless your mother, I know she is desparately wanting to find someone that can help. But you know his heart is not right, and even if he was pressured into going to MC, what could that MC say in one hour that would change is heart back to the man you want?
I am so, so sorry. If there was ever a time to apply tough love, it's now. He has no excuse or defense that could justify his behavior. He is wayward, and his heart has turned cold. This time, he should see you as a woman who will not take one more day of his sh't and who is not afraid and who won't try to talk him out of anything, b/c she is done. Not through talking............no more talks. Just action. Get to your lawyer immediately. Protect yourself financially, and protect those kids. Find out your options (which you probably know from last time). You don't know what he may do next, but for sure you can't trust him.
This doesn't sound like marriage-saving advice, but really it is. In my WAW opinion, that is the only thing that may possibly yank his a$$ hard enough to reach his brain. And if it doesn't, you will be protected and have taken necessary steps to move on with your life. Catering to him does not work. Being the sacrificial marriage lamb won't bring him back to the man you want him to be......and he SHOULD be for his family.
Find your spunk again. It's there inside of you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!