Barry,

It's very difficult to make changes for you, and not for her. It's hard not to constantly check and see if she "notices". First of all, she can smell your desperation, and they notice you are looking to be noticed.

That being said, do things that are good for you. You will need as much good stuff in your life as possible.

Do not text her except for stuff about the kids, etc.

Read the Last Resort Technique, it would help in your situation:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/blog/how-to-prevent-a-divorce-the-last-resort-technique/

What she sees is someone who begged, pleaded, and then has shown weakness with you insecurity/depression. This leads to lack of respect AND, therefore, to lack of attraction.

I still don't see your wife facing any consequences to her actions. You moved out, hoping it would help lead to a possible reconciliation and for your daughter's exams.

You should have taken your wife's offer to have her move out. What you are doing is making your needs smaller for the sake of your children and, perhaps the marriage. It seems admirable, but it makes you less substantial and formidable. This will lead to more dis-respect on your wife's part. She leaves the marriage, blows up the family, and YOU have to pay. If your daughter suffered in the exams it might send a message to your wife. It's not SUPPOSED to be painless and seamless. You are not a replaceable person in this equation who moves out because your wife isn't "feeling it".

I don't know if you can get her to move out at this point. Get some advice from other posters on this.

My sense is you need to live a great life AND show your wife you are moving on. What are your financial arrangements? Is there some way you can SHOW her, like dividing the bank account that you are moving on?

Right now it feels like you are some banished rogue living in another apartment waiting, patiently, for your wife to change her mind and let you back into the home.

I made the mistake of RE-ACTING to my wife's actions, rather than acting in my own best interest and the best interest of my children.

See a lawyer now, get some peace of mind.

The more you are trying to reel her in or put the brakes on a divorce, the more she will pull away.

--Theoden


Last edited by theoden; 01/13/15 05:03 PM.