Day #23...

I woke up at 3:30am today and didn't get fully back to sleep. Again thoughts about my W. The stop thoughts and counting breaths helped but I had to do them constantly to keep the stray thoughts away. Noted that the emotions that came with the thoughts were not very intense. Not hearing from or knowing about her bothers me less but still bothers me.


Last night I asked S11 if he would call his mom. He said maybe and then did not.

This morning W called him as I was driving him to school. He asked her immediately if she was picking him up from school Wednesday and taking him to her aunt's house. She said she would pick him up and take him to me.

This is not what the schedule she set up currently says. I heard her say yesterday that we would follow this week's schedule as planned. I'll send her a text saying I agree with her schedule and let's stick with it.

Later she calls and I let it go to VM. She sounds tired... says she is at the old house. Says it's a mess with dirty floors and carpets, and there's some stuff in my bathroom I left behind. She wants to know if I had planned to come back and clean. She asks me to call. She then texts and asks me to call... it's about the house.

I had planned to go at noon to sweep and vacuum. Even so, I didn't respond.

Later, W calls again. I let it go to VM. She sends a text. Says she's going to go back to the house to clean up and vacuum. Says she'll be there at X time if I would like to help. She'll also clean up the back yard. Says thanks.

I don't respond.

I do go to the old house at lunch and vacuum and sweep like I had planned. I leave my key for the home and walk away. That will be the last time I go there. I feel good leaving. I leave before the time W said she would show up.

And I still haven't responded to W.

Me: 44
W: 45
S: 11
Married: 15
Together: 18
BD: 9/29/2014
OM discovered: 10/16/2014
I left her behind: 12/14/2014