Originally Posted By: Toots
HP, you're a man after my own heart today! I feel my PMA has taken a nose dive lately. I felt I was doing so well before Xmas, but then I had the flu, and I haven't felt quite right since, and I moved into my own place and was all excited about it, but it is hard living alone again.

I haven't even had any negative interractions with H to prompt it. I think it is just depths of winter blues and the generally horrible sitch. Like you, I need to get the GAL and PMA going again, but sometimes it just feels like pushing a rock up a mountain.

We'll get there though HP - day at a time...hope you enjoyed your run ;-)


Hello Toots. Thank you so much for your post. Yes all this is so horrible but the good things coming from this cannot be denied... most especially connecting with good people like you. You deserve better and I know you can get your PMA soaring again soon.

About living alone... I know what you mean. If this was just a separation then this could more easily be fun. Just go explore life. It, unfortunately, isn't that easy for us but we can do it.

For example... I did go for my run today thank you. It was my first one since all this began. I used to run 7-10 miles almost everyday and loved it for stress relief. Today I just ran and, at first, hated it. Didn't want to do it. Usual terrible thoughts in my head. A different and lonely route than my usual. No attractive women runners around like I'm used to. Maybe did 3 miles. At the end I had a sweat going and felt a little better. But I did it and now I can keep going. A little better everyday. Baby steps.

Tomorrow morning I'll run in the woods with my son. Go find those cats. Whatever it takes to feel better.

Just keep going.

I'm with you Toots.

We will make it.


Me: 44
W: 45
S: 11
Married: 15
Together: 18
BD: 9/29/2014
OM discovered: 10/16/2014
I left her behind: 12/14/2014