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Thank you Maybell and Mozza. It's very kind of you to say I've been amazing Maybell. I hope all this comes to a good end between me and my W b/c I certainly feel like I've taken a hard road. And yes I will insist S11 stays with her. He does take his games and is fine. Whatever her reasons for not wanting S11 to stay with her, she has to do her best. And Mozza, our schedule is simple and she made it. She keeps changing it, though, citing her not being prepared for difficulties (not having a car, no money, nothing for S11 to do with her).
This monring S11 and I did great GAL. We went for a hike in the woods. It was lovely and he ended up having a great time. There is a historic old house on the trail where many cats live. He loves cats and one of them, a beautiful black cat, followed us for a while. He now wants to come back often to visit the cats. Then we had a wonderful breakfast at a nearby diner. A new place for both of us and the food was excellent and cheap. It's right on the river too... so we went for a nice walk after. Later today we'll go to the movies and try the remote controlled drone I got him for Christmas. Feeling great about all that.
Did better handing trouble with W this morning too. S11 let W know yesterday he wanted to spend today with me. She wanted to pick up earlier like noon. S11 told her later like 4pm. My mistake here was not sending her a text then letting her know I preferred 4pm.
This morning, then, W calls me at 7:30. I do not answer. She sends text asking me to call about S11's pickup. I text her back after a bit... "4pm pickup. Keep S11 your nights." Then we leave for our hike.
She then starts texting and calling a lot while we're hiking. When we meet the cats, I look at my phone. She sent texts asking if she could pick S11 up earlier and if I mean I would keep S11 on her nights. So I was not clear in my communications. She then had sent a text saying she's driving over to the condo now to talk b/c I won't answer my phone.
I then wisely send her a sweet photo of S11 stroking the cat and texting we're on a walk. She calls again a little later and I ignore it. She sends a text saying "pick him up at noon." I send her a text saying... "We have movie plans. 4pm works better."
On the way back, I give my phone to S11 and ask him to call his mom. He does and joyfully tells her all about our hike and the cats. She must have then asked to speak with me b/c S11 says... "You can't speak with dad." He says that a few times then hands me the phone.
She sounds sad and apologetic. She says something about getting worried when I don't answer the phone. I am businesslike. I calmly say we have movie plans, 4 pm would be better pick-up time, that S11 should stay with her on her nights. I say, when s11 is with her, I don't call b/c I know she is a good mom and everything is OK. I would appreciate the same treatment. She said OK. I then went to cut off the call and she said she wanted to say one more thing. I listened. She said she left some very nasty VMs that of course she didn't mean and she acted horribly and was deeply embarrassed. I said I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and delete her voice mails. Dismissed her and hung up. Went to breakfast. Had a wonderful time. Did slip and mention to S11 that I love his mom but don't like her very much right now.
When we got back, slipped again and I listened to her multiple voice mails. They were horrible. She threatened a lawyer to help us figure out these scheduling issues. She screamed the doorman better let her up to the condo. She screamed she would call the police if I didn't see her. Again screaming about being an adult and answering the phone. Screaming that it was ridiculous that she has to call S11 to reach a grown man. She cursed me repeatedly... called me a mother-f*cker. Worse, said, whatever she thought in her heart about going to MC to work it out, it would never work b/c I'm an avoider. She screamed on and on about how I'm an avoider cursing me the whole time.
In her last VM, she was crying. She thanked me for sending the picture and said she was sorry for her messages but she gets extremely anxious when we don't let her know everything's OK. That not even S11 will answer his phone (he didn't have it with him). She said she didn't mean what she said and the texting was too much and please would I talk to her and it would be hard to get him around soon b/c she won't have a car and will be living with her aunts in January.
I sent her a text... "got your voice mails."
She replied. "Horrible behavior. Deeply embarrassed."
The VMs and her cursing me did hurt me but I did get over that very quickly. Did much better there.
I see I'll just have to text her sooner on my clear preferences. I see I'll have to expect her to scream and curse at me now.
Last edited by HPoirot; 12/26/1404:08 PM.
Me: 44 W: 45 S: 11 Married: 15 Together: 18 BD: 9/29/2014 OM discovered: 10/16/2014 I left her behind: 12/14/2014