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Jan... I can say this... no matter how I feel day to day, I've given myself 6 months to get better. At that time, July 1, I will look at my W. If she looks better, I may give it another 6 months and make occasions to connect and become friends with her again. If not, I'll continue to keep her out of my life. Either way, I will not file.
The D will help you financially... but I believe it will not help you feel better. The point is to detach. I have an IC now and the first thing I told her is I want to detach from my W. That is the mission. GAL is the way to get it done. I, like you, am having serious trouble with that. I have a lot of my own issues to get over there. I have had ZERO life of my own for years. I'm not looking forward to getting out, meeting new people, listening to their small talk, everything that goes along with that. My R made it safe for me to get lazy there and now I am paying for it. We both got to get over it.
I imagine you're very attractive just like me... so as soon as we feel comfortable in the world again, we will attract wonderful women to us. And we will have wonderful new problems... sweeter and happier and more loving problems... and all this cr*p now will be a memory. So let's just relax as much as we can now... remember to have pride in ourselves... and our Ws and their mess will simply slip right off us.
See, writing the above made me feel better. Try to write more positives... act more positive even if you're faking it. I know it helps me when I do it.
I'll just keep going with you.
Last edited by HPoirot; 12/25/1410:04 PM.
Me: 44 W: 45 S: 11 Married: 15 Together: 18 BD: 9/29/2014 OM discovered: 10/16/2014 I left her behind: 12/14/2014