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HP! Sorry you are having a really tough time right now. A few things:
1. Yay! Let's go have a drink and talk about crazy WAS 2. don't beat yourself up about your emotional R talk, we've all been there. Just keep going forward. Wonka's advice for steps is perfect. 3. As you know by now, don't listen to what your W says about being DONE, OVER etc. Whatever! Don't listen at all. 4. Do listen a bit to the part where she says you aren't validating her feelings. Don't worry about it now, just file it away for the future in case she starts to act like a normal human and you can actually have a normal interaction with her. 5. you are so amazing HP, you are doing so well. Go back to focusing on your son, you and your goals and dreams that have nothing to do with W. Let her make crazy all by herself.
Oh HP I feel your pain and struggle and I understand. It will get better the more you can take the focus off of her. I know it is so hard.
Listen, she says it is over.. don't listen to her but I say if she wants it to be over, let her experience what that is like. Go read Wonka's list and start applying those things. Detach. Don't engage in her bs. Don't try to make things right or manipulate her. Let her swing in the wind by herself. I've recently done this in my situation and it has been SO HELPFUL!!!!!!
I think it also might help you to read some stories from the MLC area. I don't know if your W is having anything like an MLC but she is acting so crazy. I think the stories there might help you because those poor LBS folks have to put up with a lot of crazy behaviors and crazy emotional talk from the MLCers. Whoa. Talk about patience!
Good luck and I hope your Christmas with your son is beautiful and full of love. You deserve it HP! You are really great and your wife is a big fool.