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Can you be strong enough to put your hurt aside for his sake?? To show him that he does not need to be in the middle? That even though his parents have split up and hurt each other, they can still rise above it and put on a brave face to give him some happy holiday memories? What message would it send to your wife if you could do that?
HP, my H is still in his A. And we are spending Christmas together, church and dinner, and then opening presents in the morning. I'm not holding that up as an example of how you should do it, but I'm just saying that yes you can set your hurt aside for a few hours and make a good memory for your kid. It's possible.
I really like Wonka's plan that you go to W's. That way you have an exit strategy if it gets to be too much.