Helllo Wonka. W was upset that she thought I wanted to take S11 to an IC without her input. I said I would of course consult with her first. She again threatened a lawyer because again she didn't hear me. So I made it clear again I would ask for her feedback on the IC I choose for S11 to see.

Other than that, feeling horrible this morning. After she stopped her hysterics on the phone last night, again she was so even about not loving me. Not loving me for years. That if she hasn't had her A it would still be true and the same as now. I was so wrong last night to pick up the phone. Last night was a talk we already had except I was screaming at her. I might as well have begged her to come back.

If you're reading this and you're where I am, please just STFU. Don't make this mistake if you have hope still because you will suffer on that hope. Let go of your hope and expectations. Your WAS is gone. Like they say here, that person wants to protect themselves from you at all costs. The pain youre in means nothing to your WAS. Get on with your life and do what the vets say to ease your pain. That's all you can do. It hurts to hear your spouse not care about your pain. Too much.

So today i'll send S11 to his mom. I won't see her today. Im hurting because I still have hope and it kills me to see her give me nothing now. And now she knows it again. I'm still the hurt one.

It's like I'm starting from the beginning again.

And again I don't want to do this anymore.

Last edited by HPoirot; 12/24/14 10:04 AM.

Me: 44
W: 45
S: 11
Married: 15
Together: 18
BD: 9/29/2014
OM discovered: 10/16/2014
I left her behind: 12/14/2014