I like this voicemail from your W. She's telling you very clearly what she wants from you. Believe her when she says it's not about the OM: she's telling her truth.

My W did the same: she left me for OM four weeks after meeting him, yet thanks to my email archives, I realize now that it was much more about what was going on between us. Would we still be together if she hadn't met OM? Sure, for a little while longer. But our ship was heading for the iceberg before he came to pick her up with his raft boat.

So accept her truth, validate her feelings, tell her what you're sorry about. I feel the same urge as you to tell her how upset I am, but the truth is that the only thing I would hear is what I want to hear. It's the same for her. If you stand a chance it's by listening, asking her about her feelings, about the real reasons for her departure, never mentioning OM again, etc.

You're still convinced in your heart that this is just her being selfish and irresponsible, but it's likely that it's a way for her to survive, to accept a happiness that was denied to her recently. It's hard for her to turn it down, especially when the dopamine kicks in. Go along with her for a little while, explore her side of things with her. It's a good thing for you.

M39 D6 D3 (at S)
S 2014-09
D 2016-09

"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.