You're not alone on the need to understand and ask questions. Someone here told me that even if BF explained, it would still sound like complete b*llsh*t. I'd love to sit him down and chew him a couple new a$$holes about how he's treating people and the unconscionable things he's done, but it wouldn't make a difference. They feel justified.

It's hard to let go of that, but trying is the best we can do.

ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies