You're right Ahoy, and it helps to hear someone else articulate what is already swirling around in my head.

I think I need to split this stuff into things that could actually have a bad effect on the kids (his asking them to keep secrets from me) and address those in co-parent counseling, and then just let myself feel irritated about the other things and then get in the habit of shrugging them off after about 15 minutes.

Hopefully we can eventually get to a place where we can communicate about these things openly and effectively, but I think that is a long ways off.

2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16