You posted in HP's thread that was new to me:

Originally Posted By: wmwb123
When I exposed my wife's affair, it was precisely because I thought it through and decided I would want her to do it for me. Affairs are addictions, and it's very hard to stop of your own volition.

I am sorry that this did not pan out. With this new information, I now understand better the reason behind the quicksilver speed of your W pushing for a D. This is why I am personally against exposure because it's primary "premise" is to guilt and shame the other party into submission. It's an awful way to 'repair' the marriage and it really doesn't show unconditional love for your spouse.