"But I'll tell you, the only time I felt like my H might actually desire my body was when he complained that I wouldn't let him see me naked. (I'd gained a lot of weight after my third child and felt really ugly. Didn't want him to notice.) it never occurred to me that he actually found me attractive when I felt so unattractive. "
I could have done a better job sharing it with my wife, but ditto with her and child bearing weight gain. I think she is absolutely beautiful even more so naked.
"Yes, as you said, my viewing of porn did make her feel less desirable, even though I desired her no less because of it, but there's no point trying to convince her otherwise. That just dismisses her feelings. I need to validate her feelings: my viewing of porn must have made you feel undesirable and that must have hurt."
Absolutely. My wife made it clear too.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3