I am speaking with my DB coach later about all of the aforementioned topics and how she would recommend that I proceed.
The past few days have had some ups ad downs. My W can be a little bi-polar,but not in an extreme way. One day, she looks me in the eye, is super friendly and then the next day seems to want to avoid me, does not make eye contact, seems rushed, etc.
We ended up hanging out Monday and Wednesday nights. We had a great time. She expressed her sadness that we are where we are and mentioned that she deserves a lot of the blame for where we are. She agreed that we just did not make each other a priority and did not communicate our needs to each other. She also said she knows that a D would devastate our family.
What frustrates me is that she will outline the issues and will agree that they do not seem insurmountable. But yet she won't get off square one and just commit to working on our M.
I clearly just need to back off.
My other concern is my kids. They both have now said things about how we are behaving as a family. My S8 cried last night and said that everyone was being mean to each other. It broke my heart. I don't think we are overtly mean. My W definitely can be short with everyone (including the kids) and I will show my frustration, which is perceived as being mean.
Finally, a friend of mine thinks my W is depressed. She is just unhappy inside and needs help.
Me: 40, W: 40 M: 15, T: 18 D - 10, S - 7 D announcement 6/7/2014 A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W) Still living together and sharing same bed