Hi Longrun! I have always felt that the hope comes from what 25 told me right at the beginning, this is a chance to fix my stuff that I didn't even realize I had, and be a better person/partner. As long as there was something good I could get from all this, it made me feel better, more empowered. I tried to hammer that point for the newcomers for a while. It's frustrating because they tend to define success as avoiding divorce. I don't anymore. There's a lot of hope in just growing as a person, imo. I hope you got some of that too. I used to think a bad marriage was better than divorce, but I don't think that anymore, not even for the kids. And it takes two to fix a bad marriage, and even then it's a long shot.


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.