I was trying to think up a name for my new thread and I was thinking about my life lately and the image that came to mind was the cyclone scene in Wizard of Oz. Everything's tumultuous and I'm trying to keep all the doors and windows shut, and I would not be surprised at all to see a cow fly by.

The good news is that it's nearly cured me of my obsession with these boards. Too busy to spend the hours I once did. I still check in often to see some people I care about and how they're doing. I sometimes post a quick reaction to something I see in Newcomers and end up backspacing back over it because I haven't taken the time to know their stories and have little business spouting off in their threads. That's good for me, because I was really getting too absorbed here as an escape from what's out there. Now I'm out there.

So, just the current stuff, travel lacrosse, moving office and house furniture, selling stuff on craigslist, working a second job that's flexible but time consuming, gearing up to start my new job, getting all doctors appointments and whatnot done during my between-jobs month, trying to keep the kids healthy and busy and the usual teenager issues, and oh yeah, that separation agreement. It's higher up on my to do list than ever. I think I'm ready to get busy on it.

Not much going on between me and H, just interacting when kids or mail requires it and that is mostly via text. He's pleasant enough. He didn't say anything but by the way he asked if my new salary was full time or part time I could guess that he'd been hoping it would be much higher. He never believed me that I was very well paid for my part time work, to offset the lack of benefits. New job is not 60% more money. But we all know I wasn't really working only part time before. Anyway, it's a job and a good one, with benefits, and I'll make do and keep the second one if it's needed to save for college.

The other thing about H is I keep getting hit with a sad memory. When H and I told the kids and H left, S14 who was 12 then came home from school one day and told me his friend said it's ok to have divorced parents because you get to have two Christmas trees. That kid's dad has him about half the time and has a complete home set up for him and his brother, and is very involved with them. I had a feeling our sitch wouldn't be anything like that, and it hasn't been, and I wonder if that's been a disappointment to S14.

S14's got a new IC, who's beginning to ask him about his anger, and he's responding "what anger? I'm not angry." I can remember sitting in a chair three years ago saying the exact same thing. Probably because he's slashed most of the stuff in his room with his knife collection, we think he might be angry? Or because he won't get out of bed? Anyway, he seems to be doing better the past couple of weeks.

So that's all, just wanted to open a new thread since my last one locked. I do read a bunch of you, and do care, just don't have much to say.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
Happiness is a warm puppy.