Hi odsnt,

I am also a newbie. But I am finding the "detach", GAL, and the "Gift of Time" ideas really helpful.

For me, before I found this website and read DR, I was obsessing about my separated W. I had my W's photos on my computer, and I'd like to look at them. I would call my W for the lamest of excuses. I would text her nice things, even though we were separated for over 11 months (now over a year).

By detaching, I am thinking about her less. I removed the photos from my computer. I never call or text her. And it's working. I feel like a normal person again.

"The gift of time" really is a gift. I am exercising, a great way to relieve stress, and I get the benefit of getting into shape AND losing weight. I get to think about what is important to me. To see friends. I see what I enjoy in life, and to weigh whether the good parts of my marriage outweigh the bad parts of the marriage. By being away from the situation, I can see more clearly what is taking place around me, and this really is a gift. I hope this is helpful. Good luck.

Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

The strongest of all warriors are these two Time and Patience. War and Peace