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I am also a newbie. But I am finding the "detach", GAL, and the "Gift of Time" ideas really helpful.
For me, before I found this website and read DR, I was obsessing about my separated W. I had my W's photos on my computer, and I'd like to look at them. I would call my W for the lamest of excuses. I would text her nice things, even though we were separated for over 11 months (now over a year).
By detaching, I am thinking about her less. I removed the photos from my computer. I never call or text her. And it's working. I feel like a normal person again.
"The gift of time" really is a gift. I am exercising, a great way to relieve stress, and I get the benefit of getting into shape AND losing weight. I get to think about what is important to me. To see friends. I see what I enjoy in life, and to weigh whether the good parts of my marriage outweigh the bad parts of the marriage. By being away from the situation, I can see more clearly what is taking place around me, and this really is a gift. I hope this is helpful. Good luck.