Originally Posted By: LitFuse
I'm having a very hard time following these rules. I feel like it just gives my husband exactly what he wants. All he wants is me to shut up and us to not discuss his issues or him to be accountable in any way at all. It makes me angry. I want him to grow up and be accountable. I don't understand how this aids that at all, even though I know it's pretty much the only hope to ride it out until he gets over himself. :-( Anyone else having this problem?


Hi Lit, its hard to have patience with this. It seems you are new here. One quick thing that jumps off the page at me is your signature. its hard not to mind read. but mind reading (trust me most of us here do it/have done it and its not helpful) is harmful to you and the process overall. The last line of your signature says: 'H doesn't want a divorce, but would prefer we live our entire marriage by the "37 rules." '

Did your H specifically tell you he knows the 37 rules and that's what he wants? if he didn't, you're not helping yourself by thinking that way.

I'm not saying this to be a downer. Only trying to give you a place to start. Read the 37 rules every day and go out and GAL.

Like Cadet says to most people when they come here: "Your spouse has given you the gift of time, use it wisely..."

keep reading and posting. it helps. Hopefully you will find as many of us have, that this process is really more about saving YOURSELF than saving your M

There are many here who have suffered and still come out of it better. Maybe not married, but better. good luck.


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14