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TipAnna, I sympathize about your situation. It sounds like your H, despite comments to the contrary, is intentionally trying to hurt you and make you feel pain. The fact that he keeps coming at you when u attempt to walk away can attest to this. If he really was not out to hurt you he would say his impulsive comments and then when u walk away leave it at that. UNLESS in some bizarre way he's looking to communicate with you and just don't know how to do it, because it seems like in the beginning he was being like a child using the affair and depression to get your attention. I am clinically (diagnosed) depressed and I don't act out like that. When you didn't notice his "woe with me" the way he anticipated he turns that into rejection and projects that as hate to you. Regardless I think you are handling this with class.
One thing more, if it IS hate, can you think of any reason or any event in your past that made him feel this way? Did the lack of affection or emotion, admittedly shown by you, in the past affect your sex life?
Me 43 W 43 S 10 (Special Needs) M: 14 yrs T: 18 yrs Bomb: 09/16/12 Filed for D: WHO KNOWS???