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I decided that for my own sanity, I should just let it go! If he wants to leave, get a divorce, then let him go ahead.. If he wants to be with her, go ahead! I act as if I am living alone and facing the situation alone. I make my own dinner, do my own laundry, buy my own groceries, go out with my friends and keep busy. I “try” not to focus on his actions, his behavior, cause he is NOT my H! I put boundaries in place a while back, and he did not respect any of them..I told him where I stand, he does not want to be with me, so I need to accept that..so I put MY plan in motion and I am going to leave and start new, alone.. I called the realtor, I packed most of my stuff (stashing it at my parents for now), and the house will be up for sale before the end of the week. Next step is seeing a lawyer but finding one is more challenging than I thought.. I told my parents, my friends, a coworker..it helps knowing I have support..
Don’t get me wrong, it is very hard, and I have bad days and good days …but I have put Sandy’s rules in motion (at least most of the time..I did have a breakdown, crying like a child, packing my wedding pictures in front of him) but I need to do this to heal from the lies, infidelity, and start afresh..if my marriage was meant to be, then he will have to win me back..
I know what he says are lies, lies, lies but they hurt nevertheless…a week ago, he just spurted “ I don’t mean to hurt you but you know that I WILL end up with HER”, “our relationship was DEAD a long time ago, you just failed to notice”, “we are toxic to each other”...I simply acknowledge and walk away. Funny thing is, the more I pull back, the more he comes full force…there was once or twice I noticed he’d been crying; he even mentioned once that “he needs to get over the guilt” but has made no other attempt to “talk”; actually, he just turns to HER..therefore, I need to go on, live my life, try hard to just move forward..and the only way I can do that is by letting him go...
Me: 36 H: 36 No kids EA/PA confirmed: 02-Jan-2014 Separate bedrooms/still living together