inafog: I found the list after I did a lot of the things on it too. Now I wish I had not done those things (sent flowers, broke my heart when i found he had just shoved them in a cold truck to die) bought a few other heartfelt gifts and pursued him. I was following another marriage help site that suggested doing that but I do think it pushed him away further so now I'm doing the 180, not calling, not texting, not emailing unless it is something needed, we have a normal home relationship until he moves out. I'm being kind but detaching, letting him see that I am getting a life of my own. I have found that this forum has helped a lot and I also found my spirituality again. Praying has helped my inner strength tremendously. It is a roller coaster ride. I am only a month in and often thought that I wish I had the last 6 months to KNOW about it so that I could have made changes then. I just had no idea. We can't change the past so we must focus on our futures with or without them. I feel the same way you mentioned about her not giving a hoot. My H will say "are you ok?" once in awhile and I say "i'm fine" and try to appear happy all the time, but what i'm really thinking is "how the hell can you ask me if i'm ok? I"m NOT effing ok!" excuse my language but that's what is in my head when he asks. Hang in there, read these boards and post often, we can help each other, there's many people on here going through similar things.
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs