Guess what? He never came home yesterday. That's two nights in a row. The first night, he texted to let me know. Yesterday, I got nothing. Oddly, I didn't was nice to have the space to myself. I made dinner, took the dog out, went grocery shopping and came home and watched TV till bed.

It's when I got to bed that I tried hard to shut my mind. I started wondering, what have I done to deserve this? Is it really that bad here that he doesn't even want to comer home? or even talk to me?

Then I rationalized that obviously, being away from his troubles, bills, mortgage, responsibilities, consequences, with an OW who comes with no burdens or attachments IS a better life. It's a vacation, and escape..I wonder if this has something to do with his mental health?

Well, enough about him! I, on the other hand, had a nice evening and had a chance to think "what do I want?". Truth is, I don't want all this! This is not who I want to spend the rest of my life with regardless if being alone, childless, etc scares me. If he is not capable of making rational decisions, than I will have to take matters into my own hands and get myself out of this crazy, where to start..

Me: 36
H: 36
No kids
EA/PA confirmed: 02-Jan-2014
Separate bedrooms/still living together