I woke up this morning (it's my bday!)from a dream; I'll spare you the details but I was dreaming of having s@X with my H. It felt real and caught me of guard when I realized it wasn't real..but I did not let that ruin my day, I did not cry or stay in bed miserable..I got busy...

Got downstairs, brewed coffee, he said "hey, happy bday!". I said "thanks". He was watching TV so I went upstairs to read a book. Soon , I'm off to my parents for lunch ( I don't know how I will survive that, they don't know my situation yet..) and then I have dinner plans with my best friend and her family. I peeked out the window and realized I need to shovel. I took the dog out and upon my return, H was out there doing the work. I said thanks, grabbed a second shovel and helped..and the rest of the morning was good.

I think I might be having trouble with rule below:
"When at home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation---then don't, wait for him/her) then, be rather scarce or with your words, but don't sound rude or too short like you are mad. If your spouse asks what's wrong....just say "nothing" and have a pleasant expression on your face. Keep it short and simple. Don't get into an argument! Stay polite and doní t act like you are pouting. Use poise and class. This does not mean to act like you arenít speaking, but donít be overly talkative."

He talks, I listen but then he engages me in conversations. He finishes his sentences with "no?". So I reply but feel myself getting caught up but don't know how to stop talking!! It's like I forget it all, and I'm telling him "it's ok", or "it will get better", like I'm comforting him. I always do that! and then it feels like we are together again, talking, laughing..i NEED to stop that! But at the same time, he's said how I wasn't attentive or affectionate..but I am not sure how to show him I am without breaking the "rules"? Any input?


Me: 36
H: 36
No kids
EA/PA confirmed: 02-Jan-2014
Separate bedrooms/still living together