It sounds like he crossed boundary #2 and got rewarded with a nice dinner. Did he ever say where he was or why he didn't call? This was a sticky subject in my M too so I can sympathize with you. Don't lay down boundaries you aren't willing to enforce. Its a subtle difference but the boundaries are to protect you, not to control him.
Ouch! I didn't see that one!
He said he went to a coffee shop, alone, said he was sorry but did not feel like dealing with anyone or anything so shut his phone..
I don't say this to hurt your feelings but to help you open your eyes. People in affairs will lie about anything and everything to get what they want (the OP). They are frequently compared to drug addicts, alcoholics, etc. I am not saying he was with her or was not but you should at least recognize that he may have been. If you don't enforce boundaries, you lose respect so again, be very careful with what you set and make sure you are willing to enforce it.
Consider it, understand it and then get it out of your head. It doesn't matter what he does, where he goes or who he's with. What matters right now is what you do for you. Easier said than done but its the only thing you can do.
Me:38 W:39 No Children BD: 5/13 EA/PA Confirmed: 7/13 W Moved out 12/13