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They all act like that initially, but if you can remove the pressure he may drop it. It's been 5 months since my W said she filed and was bringing the paperwork over "next week". Still haven't gotten anything. Lots of similar stories on these forums.
So, if I understood correctly, I don't bring it up, act like he never asked for a D, and even if he brings it up again, I simply say "if that's what you want" but do not take any further action..?? huh...
Yes, exactly. When you quit talking about it then they don't feel pressure anymore, and they're not in such a hurry to act.
Yesterday was different..he is being kind and thanking me for everything (supper, making him lunch, taking care of the garbage). I simply say "welcome" and do not engage in further conversation.
Good! But we don't call it a roller coaster for nothing, just get ready because he'll swing back and forth a lot.
What frustrates me is that he is acting like nothing is going on when he's home. He comes home, says "hi, how was your day", sits to watch TV, walks the dog with me.. He once said he didn't want to end it badly like his parents did, he wants to be friends..so I am thinking he is faking all of this till he is done with school in February and then he leaves..!!
This too is pretty common. A lot of WAS's will even engage in affairs and still go home to their "regular" life and act like nothing is any different. It's important not to quit DB'ing though, because things are definitely NOT getting better. It's also important not to have any expectations because it'll just lead to disappointment.
I just don't want to be surprised in the end and be served or he picks up and leaves..I feel I need to be prepared for that day, and I'm debating just beating him to the punch..leave, see a lawyer, do something, instaed of living in limbo..
I think most of us can sympathize with that feeling, we feel like we've lost control of our own lives and we feel like we need to take control back again. And you can, by just putting the marriage on the back burner and focusing on YOU. Get out, GAL, work on yourself, give him time and space. Be patient with him and with yourself, you've got plenty of time, so use it
Me: 59 w/ S17, D23, D26 Current R: 4 years Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56