He insisted that he couldn't see how we can fix our relationship..so no more counseling.
MC usually doesn't help in the case of a WAS, so that's not really surprising. It helps when the couple gets to the "piecing" phase, but not before that.
Either way, I told him I am not leaving the house and he has nowhere to go either; we couldn't afford to live alone either way. My questions is, do I take the steps to divorce?
No, it's way too soon for that. You and he both need lots of time and space to think things through. It's going to be many months before you're in an emotional state that's steady enough for you to decide if you want to pursue D.
Do i seek a lawyer, a real estate agent?
If you have any concerns that your H will do something crazy like drain the bank accounts then consult a L to see what you might need to do do protect yourself.
I picked up DR on Friday and I'm halfway through the book but I'm uncertain how to apply the techniques when I know he wants out
Ummm, well that's what DR is all about, every single one of us is here on these forums because our spouse wants out. Did you read the chapter on "it takes one to tango"? That's the whole idea, one spouse can do things to try and save the M even when the other spouse is 100% "done".