I think I've come full circle almost.
I was thinking yesterday and praying.
XW is on a ski trip with OM.

I wondered about all the GAL things I didn't do because - well - money, you know. I wanted to get a motorcycle and look badass in black leathers and cruise the interstate, but money. I wanted to take time off work and do me stuff, but money. I wanted to spoil myself, but money.

But as I prayed, a voice inside me said, "that's not really you, just be yourself."

And so I am not doing those things, because I like staying home. I like cooking for my kids. Sometimes I like just doing nothing. It proves to me that although my midlife may have been a transition, it was never in crisis.

I will continue to be the rock for my babies until they are independent of me, then maybe I'll do more fishing.

I fully intended to move this thread to the "surviving the big D". I'm just so lazy right now.


Me 53 XW 50
M 18 Years +2
S14 D19
Bomb 10-24-10
Served 1-27-11
Mediate 4-21-11
Civil D Final 6-2-11
No church anullment
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."