I totally understand. I'm often asked to be a contact to new families with kids diagnosed with Angelman's. The folks who refer to me know that they have to meet certain criteria in order to agree: I am not in a position to help the ones who are knee deep in grief and immobilized. I have compassion for them, but I'm not the right person for that job.
So the very few who land up on the other side of my phone are the ones who have dealt with the initial shock and grief and are ready to mobilize and get involved in creating a new dynamic within their family. I've made one exception, and that is D16's primary respite person after school. Her nephew is 3 months old and newly diagnosed (what a great thing - we had to wait until my D16 was 3), the whole family is local, and her parents are trying to figure out how *they* feel. I'm happy to jump in there - because I know her and the background.
Otherwise, I feel like a person who's a "go to" for all sorts of maladies and I find that I am not energized. I actually feel the drain now that I'm old. LOL. Don't get me started on the divorcing parents with special needs kids. I try to steer them to the right path, but I can't be everything to everyone. Then there's nothing left in MY tank. And both my girls deserve all of me at this point in my life.
As I tell everyone in my real life, I'm not in the position to rescue people. So don't ask me to continue to stand at the side of the ship with a buoy.
Good for you in knowing yourself well enough to stick up for you!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."