Hey, here's my new online dating profile. It's fresh and it chews!
Hi ladies, Iím just a normal guy who likes gum. I like gum a lot. It comes in all flavours and textures and colours and price ranges...just like women. Gum is also a lot like love. When you first pop it in your mouth itís tender and sweet but after chewing for a while it can lose itís flavour and sadly, need to be spit out or stuck under a table somewhere. For gum to last it needs to be nurtured, moved around gently with your tongue and chewed ever so mindfully and thatís also my recipe for a loving relationship...and just to set your mind at ease, Iím a one stick man. If I take you out of your wrapper, the rest will stay in their package to grow old, hard and stale. So, if any of this sticks to the roof of your mouth then message me and Iíd be glad to meet you at the variety store of your choice. ..and who knows, if we choose the right brand we could blow sweet bubbles together...unless it's Chiclets, 'cuz they just don't blow. I know my gum and so can you!