To answer you second question I never wanted to walk away, I told him that I didnt feel I could be in "this" marriage anymore, but I didnt' get the opportunity to discuss it beyond that he just said "fine" went downstairs and sent me an email saying he wanted to get the divorce over as quickly as possible.
I knew I wanted things to change didn't know how, I tried to pretend that everything was fine but it wasn't because I thought this is what he wants and it would make him happy. He says now that he wanted me to come and talk to him, but I didn't hear or see any indication that he wanted to find a way to work it out, possibly I wasn't reading the signs either. Now he doesn't want to anymore so I guess I was right I suppose.