Took D19 out to upgrade her cell phone today...and buy a hamster. Anyway, she called to tell me she was ready and I heard Voldy yelling at her in the background about chores and, of course, going on and on. So I told D19 to stay and finish her chores and then I'd pick her up. I told her that her responsibilites come first.In the car D19 told me that Voldy wouldn't talk to her or D16 on Friday night and locked herself in her room. Apparently, D19 was home with her bf and, not knowing if anyone else would be home, they made some dinner for themselves. When Voldy and D16 came home D16 thought it looked good and asked if she could have some. D19 said sure. But, no one asked Voldy so she started slamming things around and then stormed to her bedroom. She refused to talk to any of them for the rest of the evening. OMG...some things never change. Voldy told daughters next day that she was upset because nobody asked her if she'd like to eat. D19 said "I know I should have asked but I just didn't think about it at the time. She expects that everybody reads her mind all the time and knows what she wants!" Well, I said "been there, done that". What do you say? When we were married she was upset with me because I didn't approach her to go over the financial stuff, I just managed it. In the course of our conversation I said "You're not a baby who gets breast fed her every need. Adults sometimes actually have to ask for what they want!" Not only was I to manage the finances but I was to keep her fully informed at all times. Huh? I did after that make up a binder with all our bills and statements so that she could look whenever she chose to and ask me if there was any concerns. She never looked at it once. Anyway, D19 continued complaining that Voldy wanted to know where she was at all times. She said "when you live with your friends, nobody bugs you about where you are or when you get home." I said "but you're not living with your friends anymore. You're living with your parents. If it makes your mother more comfortable to know these things then you should be doing them. That's part of living with other people. Sometimes you have to regard their needs whether you get it or not." Anyway, I hate to see Voldy acting like a spoiled brat whenever she feels hurt by her children. She loves to tell them how she feels they neglect her (I"m not kidding). D19 says that she'll yell at them for two hours and then come up and want to hug and snuggle with them. "Doesn't it occur to her that maybe we don't want to after being screamed at for hours?" I told her that I wasn't excusing her mother's behaviour but she comes from a family where yelling and screaming was how they handled issues. She feels bad but can't say sorry, so she hugs.
Well, her phone was out of stock and needed to be ordered but we did get a hamster, she's naming it Spartacus lol. I delivered her back to the loving arms of Voldy smile


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White