Hi Peace
Glad to see you're following Sandi's rules smile 180s are found in the divorce busting and divorce remedy books by MWD. She can describe them better than I can smile I'm sure a vet on here will be able to give you a good description of a 180. Sorry I can't be much help.
I try and follow Sandi's rules, but sometimes I miss one or two out because I forget them. You don't get an immediate result from Sandi's rules, it will take your H a while to even comment on them.
I suppose one of my successful rules is
2. No frequent phone calls to spouse.......let him/her be the one to call you. Then don't try to hang on to your spouse through conversation.....instead, you say good-bye first.
Though I haven't yet mastered the hanging up first bit yet, lol.
When my H first told me he wanted a D, I didn't contact him. I let him contact me first. He came round on Weds and said I thought I'd tell you that I'm delaying the D for another month so you can finish your college work. I've not heard anything about his D since!
The thing that he said was that he thought I would phone him on the Monday to ask how his interview went and I didn't! He said he thought he'd better delay the D as he then realised that I wasn't speaking to him!
If I need to speak to him now, I text him once and if he doesn't answer then I don't text him again until he answers my first text. These texts are only sent if I need to speak to him about my son.
He always initiates contact with me now.
Occasionally you may find that you break one of Sandi's rules. Don't beat yourself up about this, just start again! I've done this and I'm sure everyone else on here has done it at some point. The thing is to get back to doing it straight away. I've got a thread here called DB newcomer - second thread, which you can read how I've been doing since applying Sandi's rules.
Hopefully someone will come here to explain 180s to you.
Keep up the good work, you're doing great smile


H47 me48
T22 M21
S20 - Got high functioning autism
3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her
11/2000 H moves back home
2/4/13 H moves out
H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!