Interesting stuff with your IC. I was thinking about going back to mine a few months ago but then realized that I have you guys. It's cheaper this way. At least for now.
Ya know, my former boss has a very critical inner voice. Shortly after I met him (21+ years ago), he was seeing an IC who told him that he thought his inner voice was downright mean. (He heard his deceased dad, though.) He was given an assignment to figure out a way to quiet that voice. Apparently, the voice made itself heard most often when he was in the shower and shaving. So he put a yellow sticky on his mirror that said, "F*cking leave yourself alone!"
I don't have to resort to the yellow sticky (sorry if you work for 3M), but occasionally I have to say that out loud to myself too. I think we all grew up in an era that took discipline and good manners to the extreme. I don't know about you guys, but my parents always believed someone else if they said I did something bad - especially if the squealer was someone of authority. It was just how it was done. (My folks have since then said that they're glad it isn't that way anymore but now it seems to be at the other extreme?)
Anyway, rules and discipline typically exist for good reasons. But when the outcome no longer serves us, we can only stop and try to reason with ourselves.
Sigh. I was always taught/modeled to give people the benefit of the doubt. While I'm not sorry it's my personality now, there are times when other people don't deserve that boon. It's up to me to figure out where that boundary lies and what to do with it. I think I'm a work in progress too. Maybe we'll figure this all out someday?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."