Today I went to see the psychologist that I see periodically. I told her about the last month or so. I told her that sometimes I beat myself up over SDA Lady, my brain says things like "what kind of man dumps his woman because he's to tired to work on the issues" , " a real man would stay work through things" "What a wimp, you'll never have a real relationship!" Nice stuff, eh. She replied "Whatis, I've never worked with anyone who has put more effort into his relationships than you have" She felt that SDA Lady agreed to my boundaries but really didn't understand them, she was just doing them because I wanted her to. She had little understanding of her own anxiety and how it effected the relationship, instead she laid it all on my need to deal with my anxiety. Shrink said she'd been trying to think of the best way to say that to me today. Made perfect sense to me! She felt SDA Lady had co-dependent tendencies and would little by little keep pushing them forward and it would be my job to stop her...over and over again, "do you really want that?" she asked. So, I'm glad I let it out and no, I'm not thinking about going back to SDA Lady but I do sometimes lash myself. Shrink says it's my Mom talking. Yeah, sadly it is.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White