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Anyone seen the latest Star Trek movie? Awsome flick; took the kids yesterday. One scene struck me though. Spock and Uhura were discussing his lack of feelings. He goes on to explain how and why in a given situation he "chose" not to feel. That reminded me of my detachment.
June 2nd I will have been divorced two years. To survive the trauma (yes the whole ordeal was traumatic)I chose not to feel. Some people say "bury" the feelings, but I think I "flushed" mine right down the toilet.
For those of you hoping to one day "patch" things up, be careful of this. Things were so painful for me that I've consciously and subconciously "chosen" not to fall in love - with anyone I know - not even the XW who appears to be maybe emerging from the tunnel. I really can't tell actually.
If it were ever to happen there'd have to be divine intervention. I joke that the only type that could ever break down my defenses would have to be, "young, hot & rich!"
But seriously folks, I never felt the need to "rebound" and I'd read so much negative stuff about rebounding, so I just stayed the hell away from it. And as time went on, I got comfortible and decided against what I call "relationship stress." I spoiled myself doing what I please. It's a trade off.
Holy $hit, this is turning into a journal entry. Sorry, caught myself rambling. Don't worry, I still have "some" feelings - mixed as they are, but I'm still on the side of the fence that says, "I'm never putting up certain $hit again."
Happy Memorial Day everyone. Gotta go. Love, Pic.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."