Hi, Tig,

I read your entire thread. I'm so sorry you have found yourself in the position you are in.

My H is in an EA. He moved out 3 months ago & left behind not only me but our 3 sons-ages 13, 11 & 9. WAS's are oblivious to the destruction they have caused by their decisions.

They are all about themselves at the expense of anyone and everyone.

You are doing right by your kids. Give them lots of love and reassurance. Continue to speak only kind words regarding your H. THey have already formed opinions about his actions--kids are amazingly perceptive.

His initial absence will be hard for you & your children, but you will get used to a "new normal" and start to settle in a couple of months.

Visitation will be hard. You have to decide what is best for your children and what you can live with. My H visits the house after school while I'm not home (mostly) and then on w/e's during the afternoons. Not easy for me having him in the house while I'm here but feel I only want children to be in their home (for now).

I agree not to rush any decisions. Your pain is too new, too raw to act on. Give yourself the gift of time. I guarentee your H is confused and will be thinking long and hard about his actions and second guessing what he wants, but he needs time too.

Breathe, take one day at a time, be strong, and take care of yourself so you can be strong for your kids.

M- 18 T-21
S-14,11 & 10
BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA)
H moved out 11-3-2012
10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life.
11-25-13 Jointly filed.