Just found your thread and it hurts to read. I am married to an addict and the way they hurt us and then ask "Are you mad at me?" is baffling. They really only see themselves, until they get help. My H is probably in a relapse which would explain his selfish behavior right now.

I didn't want to go to a 12 step support group because I thought it meant I was wrong somehow. But the emotional support I got from the group was priceless. I do suggest you give it a try.

Me: 44
H: 48
M: 4 yrs
My EA: 2010 & 2012
Me arrested for DV: 10/28/11
H left 1st time: 10/28/11
Reconciled after I pursued: 12/21/11
H left 2nd time: 12/23/12
Kids from OR: S16, S10, S8