Staying away from bar scenes is just my personal opinion. If you can handle it, then that is your choice, but the "other problems" I was referring to is when one may drink too much on top of their vulnerability and they may tend to make bad decisions. Everything from one night stands, causing jealousy, getting into physical fights, etc., are examples of what I meant.

When I wrote that, I had been following a couple of threads where they would go to the bars and end up with more problems.

If you are not living with your S and he is interested in OP, you need to go dark.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!