Thanks Snookee, I'm glad I'm not the only one wondering. Unfortuntely, I feel like my H has waited for things to get so bad within himself that he may never come back. He shows no interest what so ever in me or reconcillation. I'm going to try and wait him out. Holding onto our divorce papers till I feel there is no hope left or till he starts to push. BUT, for me I could not let H back in my bed unless its forever. I can't put myself through that. I'm 42 years old and have had 4 lovers (yes, I had sex with someone 10 years ago when H were seperated the first time and I thought he wasn't coming back.) So, every partner I have had has been a relationship, never a one-night stand. I just can't do it. SO, I don't see myself giving into H unless he is committed to me and our relationship.
I have been buying new clothes, trying to look nice whenever H comes around. Even Christmas morning, got up, washed my hair, put on makeup and put back on my Christmas pj's (not sexy, but practical). We are friends on facebook, so I've stopped sharing "woooh is me pictures or quotes" and started sharing happy things or spiritual things or making fun upbeat statuses. Like the last status was about getting gravel for our driveway, but it was "my driveway"! Then the next step is to start posting pictures of my new bed and home decor that I've been working on. Just little things to show him I'm "moving on" with or without him.
I do think a lot about what him and OW are doing. I really have to MAKE MYSELF not think about her at all. Like Christmas, I wonder what he got her. He didn't get me anything. And I was not getting him anything that would benefit her. So I got him a new head to his razor (yes sorta benefitted her, but he shaves anyways) and DD wanted to get him Sperry's. And I always think about how I will feel if H marries OW. I will be devastated. As I would be if she ends up pregnant. What H doesn't realize is that if he marries OW, he will loss our DD forever. Right now, he has a shot restoring some type of relationship with DD, but if he marries OW, she WILL NEVER forgive him. He will totally loose her. But right now he doesn't care. It's sad.
Me: 41 H: 43 M: 21 yrs DD: 15
1st bombshell: 2002 - 6 months 2nd bombshell/moved out: 10/03/2012 OW: 10/12/2012 Signed MDA & PP: 11/20/12; but not submitting Confirmed OW living with H: 11/21/12