I may be a bit jaded (okay, a lot jaded)...but, it seems very hard to tell from what you read online and from others.

From what I read online, almost all affairs ended (most within two years when the "sizzle" fades) and most do not turn out to be marriages. I would guess based on other people on this forum and those statistics that a fair amount of cheaters do come back.

From my own experience, I have seen people who cheated come back to their spouses--but it seems like it happens quickly if the cheater (ideally) realizes their mistake and quits the affair.

I think in my situation (and maybe some others on this board), there was something really wrong with the marriage and by the time the person cheats...it's very late and hard to save the marriage. I think that's why many of us have gravitated towards this board--we know we need to improve ourselves and the marriage.

There are a lot of people who have saved their marriages. "Worst case", you work on yourself and be the best person you can be...if your H returns that's great. It not, you will be great either way.

Hang in there. I think I obsessed over finding any and all statistics around "do cheating husbands come back?" about a year ago. This is all very painful but you WILL get through it.


M 44, H 46
D11, D9, D5
Married 12 years
PA confirmed 9/2011
I filed 3/2012
H moved out 7/2012