My wife is with the OM and the relationship is pretty serious. I've stepped back to get my life in order, living with a good friend and going out, enjoying life as best as I can. I try to cut off as much contact as possible with my wife. She contacts me and I try to be real cheerful and positive.
Now I have messed up on occasion. We kissed. Ooops.
But I don't fret about their relationship. I don't even address it much. I tell my kids to never complain about it either - or about the OM. I do tell them to love their mother unconditionally. Warm her heart and show her nothing but goodness.
I told them if it isn't upsetting me don't let it upset you. Just go with it and see what happens. And even though I'm not much of a believer in God, I told them to pray. Prayer seems to help strengthen them. Pray and believe, I say.
Let this relationship run its course. If it's meant to be then it'll last. If not then so be it. Either way I'm getting my life in order to be a better me. I've contacted a lawyer and we've talked about what to do to get a legal separation. I've given her a time-frame to get her things in order financially because of it too. It kind of woke her up. Stuff got real.
She tells me that she misses me. She says that the house misses me - meaning things just aren't right there without me. I listen and understand, but hardly ever tell her what I'm thinking. It doesn't matter what I think. Well, not at the moment.
As long as you hold her up, she has no reason to ever quit the affair. If this one fails, she may just find another.