I asked this question to Michele on facebook but I would like to hear what the rest of you have to say as well.
How long after discovery and confrontation will the affair last? I gently confronted my WAW (of 25, me 24) about her EA again Sunday without any pressures or arguing and found out it's been going on for 19mo. Divorce is already in the works and will be done May 9th but I see signs that this is not what she wants. She's miserable with her new life struggeling to work a job she hates, she's taking antidepressants to deal with the pain of this, and I know she's already lost her dad, her dog, and her baby sister needs heart surgery. She normally can't go a week without talking to me and says in some way how she misses me but I find each time I'm only comforting her so she can continue the affair. The OM she is dating is 23, he smokes pot and cigarettes, drinks heavily, and going nowhere with his life. From what I've heard he's jealous of us talking and her friends don't like him at all. In short he's everything she didn't want me to become. Should I go dark for a few months and allow her the time needed to end the affair or keep contact to a minimum?
P.S. After I confronted her on Thursday (whoops said Sunday) she texted me "good morning" Friday but I didn't have it in me to respond. Then Saturday I got a message she viewed my ancient dating profile I haven't used since we met. I viewed hers and found she put up pictures she knew I liked but the general message was how indipendent and mature she was with lots of "!!!!" after certain sentences. Yeah right "mature". I'm sure she still uses that site to IM the OM. I texted her "goodbye" on Sunday and got back "Take care" almost immediately. I haven't done anything to keep in touch with her since then but I know she can't go a week without hearing from me.