Unfortuanately, W seems to have no problem with the predator.

I bet she has a problem with how you have been behaving towards a threat to her and your family. She wants a man that will protect her and her family, this is hardwired in humans.

My core values have changed with the D.
WTF does that mean?

My core values have always been for the sake of the kids and the home, to give DBing a chance.

DB is a tool. Make sure you use the right tool for the job, it makes all the difference.

Yes I love sharing my W with an OM - PUHLEASE, Do you have to even ask?

I ask because your actions show me that you are OK with it. Your wife thinks the same thing. Do you think what you have been doing is bringing more love into the relationship or pushing her away? If you think it is bringing more love please explain why? Why would being passive push her away?

M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.