There is plenty you can do to influence your wife. It's not angry, immoral, being an A$$ or wrong. A predator is attacking your wife and family. Do you like sharing your wife with another man? Is what you are doing lining up with your core values? There is a reason you are angry. Make sure your actions line up with your values, decide on a healthy & productive plan and then act. (BTW anger is a good sign from your wife, it means she is still interested in you.)
Look around here on DB, do you seen any man with his wife in a affair getting anywhere? To quote my Greek FIL, "There is a hole in the soup."
Sure hope those books you ordered showed up.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.